Look, this was the best I could do. Within 50 miles, the most authentic ingredients I can find is the tiny “Asian” shelf in the grocery store. Pre-cooked udon noodles, baby bella mushrooms, soy sauce, and miso paste (intended for soup) will have to do. Because it’s 3000 degrees outside (what happened to spring? Spring, can you hear me?), I went with dry, cold noodles. They take 10 minutes to make, and although they’re hardly authentic, they taste good. I never thought I’d stoop that low.
1 lb udon noodes
2 teaspoons honey
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 inch piece of ginger
1/2 teaspoon miso paste
1/2 teaspoon red chili flakes
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 1/2 tablespoons black sesame seeds
3 mushrooms
Leaves, of some fashion. I used a spinach and arugula mix.
Start by peeling and chopping up the ginger. While you’re at it, chop up a little more and put it in iced green tea. It’ll make you feel like you just went on a yoga retreat and eat an all natural, vegan, gluten free, soy free, MSG free diet even if you spent the afternoon on the couch eating Chex Mix. I speak from experience here.
While the ginger is cooking, scrub the mushrooms and slice them up. I HATE mushrooms. They’re slimy. And weird. And they taste alive. And weird. But I cook with them anyways, because I keep trying to get myself to like them. So far, still hate them. I’ll keep you updated.
 Throw the mushrooms in, along with the sesame seeds, red chili flakes, garlic powder
and miso paste.
Stir it around a bit, then slowly pour in the soy sauce. It’ll sizzle as it hits the screaming hot pan (to clarify, the pan should be screaming hot and the soy sauce should be sizzling. Not to be confused with screaming soy sauce and a sizzling hot pan. You got all that?), and reduce into a nice, thick sauce that coats the mushrooms. Stir in the honey to cut the saltiness.
Throw in the leaves, and stir them around until they begin to shrink.
Lastly, add the noodles, and toss them to get them all coated.

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