You may notice that my last recipe also has “creamy” in the title. This is because I got a new food processor after mine being broken for over a year, and I’ve been getting a little bit over enthusiastic with it. Tapenade is really best […]
If, like everyone else in this deep fried-calorie rich greaseball we call America, your New Year’s resolution was to start eating healthier, but you also don’t want to forsake everything good in life, make some guacamole. Avocados are full of fat, yes, but the good kind. Like people say all press is good press, all fat is good fat. Wait. That’s not true. Both those things! For example, if you treat an unsecure email server as the bringer of the apocalypse, but high treason as an everyday occurence, that’s not good press. And waffle fries aren’t good fat! You get it. Guacamole is also packed with all sorts of good stuff, like tomatoes, red onions, and cilantro. Just don’t negate all the health benefits by eating it with a bag of tortilla chips! Guacamole is one of the only substances on this earth that can make celery palatable…
Start by chopping up the tomato, onion, and cilantro. Take a minute to admire them. Post a picture to instagram,so you can show off how clean and healthy you’re eating. Conveniently crop the pan of brownies out of the picture.
Now peel and slice the avocados- I scoop them out, and then whack it a bunch of times with a knife. I’m so sophisticated and precise, right? So far I haven’t chopped off any of my fingers. Fingers crossed (pun totally intended) it stays that way.
Mush it up with a fork, or potato masher. I can’t find Eggbert, my potato masher. He disappears periodically. I’m sure he’ll turn up.
Now squeeze in the lemon (gratuitous nail shot), and mix that in.
Throw in salt and pepper to taste,
and then scrape in the veggies. Mix that in,
and serve it as an accompaniment to tacos, burrito bowls, quesadillas, or just as a condiment! Heck, eat it with a spoon. I do it all the time, and I turned out fine (TBD)!
Holiday food is really heavy. It’s all cookies, bread, roast beef- you know, the good things in life. The holidays are also really time consuming. Between family, shopping, and decorating (also the good things in life), you don’t have much to yourself. So, logically, you […]
- Chutney will always make me think of Legally Blonde
- I HATE coconuts
- This is really good!
Summer is almost over. I couldn’t be more excited for fall- everything pumpkin flavored, dark lipstick, leaves falling, cool weather, drinking tea in front of a fire, apple picking, scarves- I like fall, okay? My mother has more than once had to restrain me from ordering a PSL and wearing berry lipstick. However, not everyone is as happy about summer being over. I’m happy to see it go. Oppressive heat and bugs aren’t really my thing. If you’re having trouble coming to terms with summer going, you should make this! It’s bright, tart, and summery- perfect as a side dish, or marinade!
2 oz mint
So, here’s where the sordid story starts. I wanted to crack open the coconut myself. I broke a nail. I nearly broke my hand (I missed it with the hammer by, like, two inches), and the stupid thing wouldn’t open. Several minutes of hammering later, I went back inside (I cracked it open on my deck. I think I may have alarmed my neighbors with all the banging. Their kids screech all day, I can bang open a coconut if I want!), and extracted what I could of the flesh.
That was harder than the banging. This was all I could get out.
By the way, have you met my new wooden cutting board? I’ve named it Enrique.
Chop up an onion on Enrique,
and then throw the coconut in a food processor and blend it. Or use a blender. This was the wrong decision. Don’t be like me. Stay in school, kids. Never mind that I’m also in school
Then throw in the onion, too, and then dump them into a bowl.
Blend up the mint and jalapeno, and then pour in a little water to get it all nice and smooth.
There are few things more satisfying than blending something with water so the blender looks clean when you’re done with it. Wait. There is something! I’m now a VIB at Sephora. I wanted to share this important milestone with you. I’d like to thank everyone who made this possible (AKA my parents). I’d also like to thank NARS for having such a wide range of concealer shades.
Pour the mint and jalapeno,
and then squeeze in some lemon and mix in some salt. You’re all done!
Marinade meat or fish in this, serve it over rice, or eat it with bread.
Andorran food is so delightfully weird. And underestimated! Lots of people assume it’s just a rip off on Spanish food. Let me tell you right now- that’s poppycock When I was reading about it once, I came across the phrase “sea brine”, which sums it up- at the most basic level, Andorran food is mountainous sea brine. Yes, I do know that doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but once you take a bite of Trinxat, you’re not going to be thinking about saying anything. One of the great things about it is it’s so simple it can be a weeknight dinner, and yet with a few tweaks in the presentation, it looks like a masterpiece that took three days to complete.
3 Yukon potatoes
1 bunch kale
3 slices bacon
1 tsp paprika
1 head garlic (yes, seriously)
½ lemon, juiced
1/2 cup half and half
The original Trinxat has only 4 ingredients: cabbage, potatoes, bacon, and garlic. And I could’ve kept it to that. But I couldn’t help myself. I am incapable of making a dish without throwing a spice of some sort in there. I just can’t do it. Oh well. Let’s get on with it, then!
Start by peeling and dicing the potatoes.
Then throw the potatoes into a big pot filled with water.
Next, throw some chopped kale on top.
I’m going to call this photo “kale floating on a potato raft”
Boil the potatoes and kale together, until they’re nice and fork-tender, about 20-25 minutes. Remove the pot from the heat and let it cool while you mince up a whole head of garlic. A whole head. I love Andorran food. And garlic. If you don’t share the same burning passion for garlic, I guess you could be wimpy and use 7-8 cloves. But I’m going all the way.
I like to mince garlic by first smashing it with a knife or wooden spatula, and then going over it with a chef’s knife several times.
Once it’s all minced, let’s fry up some bacon! Yummy. Delicious. Bacony. Now that it’s all done, remove it from the pan, and pour off most of the drippings. My mother makes the most mouthwatering (alliteration!) pasta from bacon drippings. I’ll put the recipe up here sometime.
Now, we are going to put the garlic in the pan, which should have some drippings left. Don’t turn the heat on, just let the garlic gently sizzle and infuse the oil.
Drain the kale and potatoes, and then mush them. I’m using an immersion blender, but you could use anything from potato masher to a blender.
Once they’re nice and smashed, add the salt, pepper, half and half, paprika, and the lemon juice.
Mix it up, and here’s where it gets fun- you could do anything with the presentation, from slapping it on a plate, to putting it in a piping bag and making designs. Does that make any sense? I hope so. Today I’m just mounding it on the plate, and smoothing out the top and sides like I’m icing a cake. Cut the bacon in half, drape it over the top, and pour the garlic infused oil right over the whole thing. This is delicious, by the way. Make it soon!
Here’s the printable recipe, with ingredients and instructions: Andorra