It’s finally getting cold, and this spicy coconut soup from Laos is the perfect way to warm up! It’s almost like Thai green curry, but in soup form. I drank it by itself, but you could certainly add some rice noodles or rice to make […]
You may notice that my last recipe also has “creamy” in the title. This is because I got a new food processor after mine being broken for over a year, and I’ve been getting a little bit over enthusiastic with it. Tapenade is really best chopped with a knife instead of a food processor, but this turned out well, too! It got nice and creamy, but kept all of its flavors.
7 green olives (mine are garlic-stuffed because I live for garlic)
7 cloves of garlic
Zest of 1 lemon
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon sugar
Start by chopping up the olives in the food processor. You can use black olives if you like, but I’ve always liked green olives better.
Peel the garlic, throw it in, and chop that up too,
and then spend 10 minutes zesting the lemon. You could, of course, just squeeze in half a lemon. That’s also there. But I like the subtle, bright flavor of lemon zest.
Now pour in the olive oil and red wine vinegar. Go wild, use white wine vinegar if you have it. See, I used to be a stickler about recipes. I would stand there and painstakingly count out how many grains of rice in a cup, so I could recreate the recipe exactly next time I made it. I would roll a lemon back and forth for five minutes so it would be extra juicy. I measured vanilla extract, instead of upending the bottle over a bowl. But in the long run, does it all matter? There’s still an autocratic, psychopathic, despotic bully with the vocabulary of a megalomaniac three year old and the morals of a raccoon running the country. I’ve become desensitized to scandals, lawbreaking, blatant disregard for democracy and the American people, and not measuring vanilla extract. So use white wine vinegar if you like, basically. Throw in the salt and sugar,
and then puree it all up. Be careful when you add the salt- it’s already really salty from the olives! Taste it, and add more salt, sugar, or vinegar to taste.
Serve it with chips and crackers!
Gnocchi is probably the most underrated Italian food. Bruschetta, polenta, foccacia, and antipasti have all been incorporated into the mainstream, but gnocchi’s been left behind, in all it’s spuddy glory. Did you know spuddy was a word? No squiggly red line showed up under it, […]
There is a kind of independence that comes with making garlic bread. You don’t need anyone! Or any Italian restaurants! You can make garlic bread whenever, wherever. Well, as long as you have baguettes, garlic, parsley, and olive oil. This is not to be confused with garlic-cheese bread, which is a cheesy, creamy, decadent affair. This garlic bread is simple, ready in 10 minutes, and the perfect side to pasta! Or, you know, eat it as a main course. This is objectively healthier- you see, if you eat garlic bread and pasta (the latter of which will probably be covered in heavy sauce and cheese), then you’re getting twice the calories, fat, and carbohydrates. Whereas, if you eat just garlic bread, which has VEGETABLES, it’s healthier. No more questions, please.
1 head of garlic
3 oz parsley
3 tablespoons olive oil
Start by peeling the garlic and throwing it into the food processor. Give it a whir so it’s all sliced up. See, I don’t like chopping garlic. And I feel like a fraud! I love garlic, and I love cooking, but I don’t like chopping garlic? Does this mean I don’t like garlic? Does this mean that I’m a bad cook? Do I have to turn in my apron and whisk? Is it bad that I take chopping garlic more seriously than the president takes the future of this country?
Throw in the parsley, and get that all chopped up too.
Then pour in the olive oil, and blend it until it’s a flavorful paste. This is actually a blender. My food processor has gone to the big kitchen in the sky. On the bright side, my oven is finally fixed! It’s amazing! I can bake things! I was on the verge of building a clay oven, throwing in newspaper and a match, and sticking in some pizza dough. I said newspaper because it burns easily and I don’t have any wood. Not because I want to burn the likenesses of the president and his whole administration. Oh no, definitely not.
Preheat the oven to 350 F, and slice the baguettes in half, lengthwise. Spread the paste on.
On a whim, I sprinkled on some mozzarella. Worse things have happened.
Bake it for about 15 minutes, slice it up, and eat it warm!
I had shaky beef in a DC restaurant a long time ago. It’s a classic Vietnamese dish of lemongrass flavored beef and vegetables. It’s my favorite Vietnamese dish. Well, except for bahn mis. And pho. And Bo luc lac. Fine, so I can’t choose my favorite. But shaky beef is definitely up there! It’s really easy to make at home- you just need good lemongrass. I love using jarred lemongrass, because every time I get fresh lemongrass (which isn’t very often), I feel pressured to make something amazing with it, and nothing is ever good enough, and I end up having to throw away spoiled lemongrass. Less pressure with the jarred stuff! I’d recommend marinating the beef, but I’m sure the world wouldn’t end if you didn’t*!
2 sirloin steaks (flank works well too!)
3 baby bell peppers
1 tablespoon jarred lemongrass
1 teaspoon sesame oil
2 tablespoons packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon ginger powder
4 garlic cloves
Start by peeling and slicing the vegetables. Please don’t peel the bell peppers. The thought of peeled bell peppers makes me extremely uncomfortable.
Slice up the steak, too,
nd then make the marinade/sauce/thing. Start by spending 10 minutes looking for a mason jar so you look artisanal. When you can’t find one, use an old pesto jar. Throw in the lemongrass,
sesame oil, sugar, ginger powder, and chopped garlic
Give it a good shakey shakey. I could’ve made this in a bowl, but then I wouldn’t be able to do any shakey shakey. If you want to make extra, just double or triple the recipe and keep the jar in the fridge. Throw it into beef, chicken, tofu, fish, or vegetables for an extra shot of flavor.
Now grab a zipper bag (if you’re marinating it), and throw in the peppers, onion, and beef.
Pour in the marinade/sauce/thing,
seal the bag, and give it a shakey shakey. Marinade it anywhere from 2-24 hours.
When you’re ready to make it, heat up some oil in a wok. You want it to be screaming hot when you add the beef!
I like to cook the beef first, and add the vegetables later. Sear the beef briefly (or beef-ly), just long enough to get some color on both sides. It’s medium rare now, which is perfect for me, but you can cook it more later if you’re one of those philistines who likes beef well done.
Remove the beef from the wok,
and throw in the vegetables.
Cook them on high, high heat- this will get them nice and crispy, and get rid of any bacteria from the raw meat. If you like, add the beef in now and shake the wok around to cook everything (that’s where the name comes from!).
When everything is cooked to your liking, serve it on top of rice, garnished with plenty of cilantro!
*Allthoseinflavor.com and the snarky proprietor behind it are in no way, shape, or form responsible for the world (or any world) ending as a result of not marinating the beef