Let me tell you a little story. There was cream cheese about to go bad. And I wanted cheesecake. So, I decided to make cheesecake. Y’all with me so far? Good. So, I arrange all my ingredients. I’ve decided to make a classic cheesecake with […]
You can’t have high tea without scones! To be specific, these cranberry walnut scones. I’m a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to scones- I don’t like matcha, chocolate, or carrots. I’ve seen them all. To me, scones should have some fashion of dried red berries, a few nuts, and should be slathered with cream and red fruit jam. I’m a scone conservative. I admit it. I’m liberal in a lot of other ways (I think that all genders are equal, I don’t believe in segregation, I’m not a Nazi, etc, etc), but dammit, I want my scones to be conventional!
1 cup all purpose flour
Scant ¼ cup sugar
1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
¼ cup very cold butter (½ stick)
½ cup heavy whipping cream
1 cup dried cranberries
1 cup chopped walnuts
Don’t ask about the ingredient shot. I don’t know where it is either.
Start by sticking the butter in the freezer. No matter how cold you may think it is, it’s not cold enough. In the meanwhile, mix together the dry ingredients,
and then grab a pastry cutter and start cutting in butter like your life depends on it! Because one day, it might. I can’t think of any scenarios in which that would happen, but I’m sure it could.
Now pour in the heavy cream, and stir that in. Yes, you must use heavy cream. Don’t come at me with that skim milk nonsense.
Now give the cranberries and walnuts a rough chop, and mix them in. Stir it all up, and then turn it out onto a floured cutting board. Using a rolling pin or your bare hands, shape it into a circle, and then cut it into eighths. Place them onto a baking tray,
and bake them at 450 F for 13-15 minutes. Serve them with tea, cream, jam, and marmalade!
Another guest post by my mama! Baked eggs have been Christmas breakfast in our house for as long as I can remember- usually accompanied by a gingerbread house (storebought- I tried to make one from scratch last year, with disastrous results), and coffee for my sleepy parents. My sister and I have never believed in sleeping past 6 AM on Christmas morning. This is quick and easy, and especially if you chop the veggies in advance, it takes all of 5 minutes to make.
1 red onion
Preheat the oven to 350 F.
Slice up all the veggies. Prepping them in advance would be a little bit extra- it takes less than 5 minutes! But if you want to be extra, I’m in no position to stop you. I wear so much glitter, it sheds. I leave a glitter trail. On the bright side, my mom always knows where to find me! Is that a bright side? I can’t tell anymore. You can add whatever vegetables you want- carrots, garlic, celery, etc- and leave out the jalapenos if you’ve got a bunch of wimps. Some cilantro or parsley would be really good!
Now butter up a baking dish,
and crack in the eggs. Try not to break the yolks!
Now layer the vegetables on top,
and add whatever seasonings you consider appropriate. You could just go the standard salt and pepper route, or add any mix of herbs and spices you’d like.
Bake it for about 15 minutes, or until the yolks are set. Serve these with bacon, toast, biscuits, ham, pancakes, waffles, gingerbread- any breakfast food your festive little heart desires.
Holiday food is really heavy. It’s all cookies, bread, roast beef- you know, the good things in life. The holidays are also really time consuming. Between family, shopping, and decorating (also the good things in life), you don’t have much to yourself. So, logically, you […]
We now have further evidence Finland is the most hardcore country in the world. So, us weak Americans make Christmas cookies for the holidays. The Finns make mustard. Can we throw in the towel and admit they’re cooler? I mean, let’s look at it. They have reindeer- which are just festive meese. The plural of moose is meese, and we can take this outside if you disagree. They also have, you know, a functioning government instead of a sleazy nest of harassers, degenerates, and general slimeballs lead by the greatest and most corrupt nitwit of them all. But I digress! Making mustard at home is actually a lot of fun, and it tastes so much better than the neon yellow stuff. I don’t trust neon things- be it mustard or neon orange numbskulls masquerading as president. You can use this to glaze ham, as a sandwich spread, or to flavor veggies- it’s super versatile!
¼ cup dry mustard
½ cup sugar (use brown or white- doesn’t matter!)
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1 cup heavy cream
1 teaspoon lemon juice
Start by dumping the mustard, sugar, and a little bit of salt into a pot.
Turn the heat to medium,
and one tablespoon at a time,add the cream.
Mix it in totally before you add the next one.
Keep going until the cream is all gone! It should be thick, creamy, and the smell alone should be strong enough to make your eyes water.
Now pour in everything else- the oil, vinegar, and lemon juice.
You can really add anything else you like- throw in some basil, oregano, marjoram, and thyme to make an herb mustard. Add a few shakes of hot sauce to make hot mustard. Throw in some cumin, coriander, ginger, and garlic to make a South Asian inspired mustard. You get the point!
Let everything come to a boil,
and then take it off the stove. The mustard should be thick and glossy, kind of like healthy hair. I understand that’s not the most appetizing analogy. My hair has been very shiny recently, thanks to the 100 or so oils I’ve been using, and I’m thrilled about it. Thank you for listening.
The mustard will also be completely liquid- it needs to chill in the fridge for a couple of hours to thicken up.
This is so easy, and so much better than storebought!