Fresh pizza is one of my favorite things, but it takes forever to make and rise. Not anymore. I was recently out of yeast, but I really wanted fresh pizza. Enter greek yogurt and self rising flour. Two ingredients, and no rising time. The […]
I know little to nothing about Icelandic cuisine- or any Northern European cuisine, for that matter! My expertise is limited to Ikea meatballs. I love Ikea meatballs. So, I asked my sister, who went to Iceland last year. My vegetarian sister. Icelandic cuisine is very […]
This is it. This is the best use for truffle paste. I’m cutting truffle week short: making it a Monday-Friday week, just because I have peaked. I was going to make truffle meatballs: useless! Utterly useless! I was going to be a smart aleck and make chocolate truffles: what’s the point? Because this, this, this is the best way you can eat truffle.
2 cups macaroni (all I had was cavatappi!)
5 oz truffle toma cheese
4 oz sharp cheddar cheese
5 green onions
⅔ cup half and half
2 tablespoons heavy cream
1 tablespoon truffle paste
Start by boiling the pasta. You can really use any type of pasta you’d like- all pasta is technically created equal, but we all just believe that macaroni is better. I don’t think it makes that much of a difference, any type of short pasta is good in mac and cheese. Dice up the shallot
and onions.Green onions are the best in mac and cheese- they add a nice pop of color and freshness in a dish that can get bland and gloopy. And shallots aren’t a traditional ingredient, but I start panicking and getting hives if I make any savory dish without anything from the allium family, and onions and garlic are too strong for mac and cheese.
Now grate up the cheese- so, so much cheese. You think that’s enough cheese? It’s probably not. Grate some more. It’ll look like too much, but really, it’s not enough. I think that’s what the president says about his nepotism and nationalism.
Pour the heavy cream and half and half into a bowl, when you’re done grating the cheese.
Crack in the egg (it’ll add some much needed
cholesterol protein), squeeze in the truffle paste, and add some salt and pepper. If you have mushrooms/can stand being around mushrooms, throw some sauteed mushrooms in there. Mushrooms give me the heebie jeebies. Food shouldn’t be slimy!
Now set up your bowls- one of shallots and green onions, one milk/egg, and the cheese, the glorious cheese.
Drain the pasta, and then throw it in with the milk and cheese. Time is of the essence! If the pasta cools at all, it won’t melt the cheese or cook the egg. Stir like crazy until everything is mixed and gooey. Reserve a bit of the hot pasta water to thin it out if it gets too gloopy.
Throw in the shallots and onion, and serve it immediately.
This is best eaten right away- it’s never the same after you heat it up later. You can use this as an excuse to eat the whole thing.
Let me tell you a little story. There was cream cheese about to go bad. And I wanted cheesecake. So, I decided to make cheesecake. Y’all with me so far? Good. So, I arrange all my ingredients. I’ve decided to make a classic cheesecake with berries on top. I’ve taken my ingredient shot, when I think it would be adorable to make cheesecake cups! I then spend 20 minutes looking for the cupcake pan. I do not find it. So, I screech for my long suffering, ever patient mother to help me find it. She finds it in 2 minutes. I go on a 10 minute rant about witchcraft and the like, while she reads the newspaper and periodically says “that’s nice, dear”. For those of you who are good at math (or, you know, can do basic addition), 32 minutes have gone by- not counting the time I spend getting ingredients out. I’ve been in the kitchen the whole time. And I do not remember that our oven is not working. Fingers crossed the fine admissions office at Yale never sees this. So, at this point, I make big plans to give up and hide in my closet all evening reading Hemingway (I was feeling tragic). But something kept me in the kitchen. What was it? Persistence? Tenacity? Integrity? Nah, I just really wanted cheesecake. You’ll find this was the driving force behind several significant events in my life. I like cheesecake. So, I omitted the egg, and made no-bake cheesecake. Thank you for listening. I’ll await the call from the folks who give out the Pulitzer Prize now.
⅓ cup cream cheese (full fat. FULL FAT.)
¼ cup sour cream
2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
5 tablespoons butter
8 oz Marie biscuits
2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
Start by crushing the biscuits. If you’ve got one of them newfangled food processors, use those. If you tried to grind peppercorns in yours, which resulted in it breaking, put the biscuits in a sandwich bag
and crush them with a rolling pin. I should really stop broadcasting all of this to the world, just in case Yale ever sees this. Or am I doing this subconsciously so that if I don’t get into Yale, my ego will be soothed by the fact that they judged me for this, and not because I wasn’t good enough? Is all of this just a big production to protect my superiority complex? Well?! I’m stressed now. I’m going to go crush some Marie biscuits. Once they’re crushed,
dump them into a bowl, and then melt the butter, pour it in, and add the sugar and vanilla.
Mix that in, and eat a spoon. Okay, two spoons. Three? Fine, three spoons.
Then put it in the other room while you make the filling so you don’t eat all of it. You’re going to need to. Now throw the cream cheese, sour cream,
and sugar into a bowl
and beat it it until it’s nice and creamy.
That’s it for the filling! Easy as pie. Cheesecake? Easy as cheesecake? Easy as tiramisu? Easy as impeaching the President? Who said that? Not me. This is all getting too existential. Divide the crust into a cupcake pan, and press it in and around the edges with a spoon or your (clean) fingers.
Pour in the filling,
and freeze it for about 3 hours, or until it’s totally set. It’ll have a nice matte finish.
Serve it with coffee to cut the sweetness!
Here are quick recipes, photos, and monologues for all the stuff I didn’t take complete pictures of.
Here’s the whipped cream- I was going to make clotted cream, but the thought of leaving a dish of heavy cream in the oven overnight made me nervous. Still tasted good with scones!
Speaking of scones, I made this raspberry sauce to go with them. It’s literally just raspberries, and a little bit of water. I’d say about a tablespoon! You can add some sugar, if you like things sweet.
The last- and arguably most important thing- was the sandwiches. You can’t have high tea without sandwiches! You need them to cut all the sweetness. I used brioche buns, and made, respectively, pear and ricotta, roast beef and mustard, and radish egg salad. It was good.
P.S- My sister made merengues!