Spicy Navy Bean Soup


Spicy Navy Bean Soup

Do navy beans freak anyone else out? They’re at every supermarket, in the back of your mind you acknowledge their existence, you know what they look like- but no one talks about them. I’ve never seen a recipe for them, I have no idea of their origin, of how to cook them, what their nutritional value is, what cultures they are a part of- or maybe I’m just spectacularly unobservant about navy beans. Better than not noticing racketeering and treason. Or noticing them, actively participating in them, and then gaslighting a sizable minority of the population into believing this is moral- or legal. I bet the president doesn’t know anything about navy beans, either.
3 cups navy beans (not shown because they wouldn’t fit and I liked this picture)
2 carrots
3 baby bell peppers
1 onion
1 potato
6 cloves garlic
4 oz arugula/rocket
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon basil
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon red chile flakes
1 cup vegetable broth


Start by peeling and chopping everything. It’s handy to keep a small bowl next to your cutting board, to put all the peels in. It’s neater, and you can throw it right on your compost heap, if you have one. If you don’t, make one! You just have to dump organic garbage on dirt- this is just like being the president, except the garbage is a complete disregard for laws and ethics, and the dirt is the presidency. When everything is chopped,

heat up some oil and throw in the spices. I never like to give exact quantities for the oil- you can throw in a lot, if you want to have a good time, or you can use a very little bit, if you’re trying to be healthy. I don’t care what Whole Foods says, you can’t do both at once.

Throw in all the veggies, and cook them down a bit

before you throw in the arugula.

Let it wilt, then throw in the navy beans. If they’re in the can, throw in the liquid. If you boiled them yourself, throw in the water. It’ll add a nice beany flavor that would be lacking with just plain beans. If anyone tells you it doesn’t make a difference, cut them off. You don’t need that kind of bean hating negativity in your life.

Pour in the broth, balsamic, and some salt, bring it to a boil, and serve it hot! Or serve it cold. I don’t care anymore. American democracy is crumbling. It’s 95 degrees. Eat cold soup.

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