Before you flip out, no meese were harmed in the production of these. No moosehunters were harmed, either. And the plural of moose is TOTALLY meese. And all you grammar nazis (sorry, alt-grammar enthusiasts), can just deal with it. Moosehunters are, contrary to popular belief, not hunters of meese, but cookies. I’ve had lots of weird thoughts in my lifetime- I think that if colors had tastes, purple would taste good, that geese are the most vicious creatures to ever haunt this earth, that women are equal to men, etc, but I NEVER thought of mixing molasses and chocolate. Kudos to you, Canadians! These cookies are great to make in bulk- so if you’re having a party for women’s day, these are a good choice. And to everyone complaining about there being an international women’s day, and that there should be an international men’s day, firstly, there is, and secondly, make an international men’s MONTH, for all I care- you get some nice parades and hats, women get equal pay and rights. Sound fair? Onto the cookies!
1 ½ sticks butter (12 tablespoons)
1 cup sugar
½ cup molasses
2 teaspoons vanilla
¾ cup milk (Milk? In a cookie? The madness will never end!)
¾ cup cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
3 cups flour
If you’re on a diet, run. Run and don’t look back. Do some squats too, while you’re at it. For the rest of you sinners, dump the (softened) butter into a bowl,
and beat in the sugar.
When I say beat, I MEAN beat. Don’t just mix it until it’s combined, like this.
Beat it til it’s light and fluffy and you just want to hug it.
Mix in the vanilla too. I can never resist eating a bit of this. Before you end up eating the whole bowl,
crack in the egg, and mix it up so it gets all possibly salmonella-y. Samonellay? I’m going to use that as an insult now. “Quit being so samonellay, Donald!”.
Now pour in the molasses! Please, please, please, for your own good, spray the measuring cup with some nonstick spray before pouring in the molasses. It’ll save you a world of pain. Molasses is so photogenic! It needs it’s own spread in Vogue.
Beat that in too,
and then pour in the milk. I have honestly never used milk in a cookie recipe before. God bless Canada.
Mix that in, and DON’T PANIC. I know it looks really freaky and gross, like it’s about to start yelling alternative facts at you,
but pour in the cocoa powder, and everything will be okay. Speaking of cocoa making freaky and gross things better, who wants to make a chocolate bar president? I know I sure do.
Mix that in,
and then throw in the baking soda,
and half the flour. Mix it in slowly, otherwise the flour will float everywhere. Throw in the other half, and get ready for some serious mixing. It’ll get very thick and fudgy, and you’ll really have to use some elbow grease to get it all mixed up.
Once you do, grab a cookie sheet and scoop, and scoop all the dough out. These cookies don’t spread in the oven too much, so you don’t need to leave that much space in between them.
Bake them for 11-13 minutes, let them cool, and serve them with milk. These were so good- chewy, fudgy, not too sweet!