If, like everyone else in this deep fried-calorie rich greaseball we call America, your New Year’s resolution was to start eating healthier, but you also don’t want to forsake everything good in life, make some guacamole. Avocados are full of fat, yes, but the good kind. Like people say all press is good press, all fat is good fat. Wait. That’s not true. Both those things! For example, if you treat an unsecure email server as the bringer of the apocalypse, but high treason as an everyday occurence, that’s not good press. And waffle fries aren’t good fat! You get it. Guacamole is also packed with all sorts of good stuff, like tomatoes, red onions, and cilantro. Just don’t negate all the health benefits by eating it with a bag of tortilla chips! Guacamole is one of the only substances on this earth that can make celery palatable…

Start by chopping up the tomato, onion, and cilantro. Take a minute to admire them. Post a picture to instagram,so you can show off how clean and healthy you’re eating. Conveniently crop the pan of brownies out of the picture.

Now peel and slice the avocados- I scoop them out, and then whack it a bunch of times with a knife. I’m so sophisticated and precise, right? So far I haven’t chopped off any of my fingers. Fingers crossed (pun totally intended) it stays that way.

Mush it up with a fork, or potato masher. I can’t find Eggbert, my potato masher. He disappears periodically. I’m sure he’ll turn up.

Now squeeze in the lemon (gratuitous nail shot), and mix that in.

Throw in salt and pepper to taste,

and then scrape in the veggies. Mix that in,

and serve it as an accompaniment to tacos, burrito bowls, quesadillas, or just as a condiment! Heck, eat it with a spoon. I do it all the time, and I turned out fine (TBD)!

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