Butternut Squash Soup

Now, I’m doing this to show y’all how much I love you. I know it’s fall. I know butternut squash is a thing. I know some people like it. How? Why? I don’t know. There are plenty of psychopaths out there. I am not one of those people. I HATE butternut squash. I think it tastes like pumpkin gone bad. But I’m not eating this. I’m making it, then palming it off on everyone I know. I’m doing this for you, so you can make butternut squash soup. I don’t ask for much! Just a few awards, some recognition in the New York Times, a few buildings named after me. I tell you, no one appreciates me around here.



3 cups chopped butternut squash

3 cups baby spinach

Ignore the green onions. They just kind of found their way in there

2 tablespoons honey

¼ teaspoon cayenne

2 tablespoons parsley

1 tablespoon onion powder

1 tablespoon garlic powder

2 cups vegetable broth

¼ cup heavy cream


Start by preheating the oven to 400 F. Some people like to boil butternut squash, but I roast it. I’ve just got this thing where I don’t boil the flavor out of vegetables, and like to let their natural sweetness and flavor come through. Call me crazy! While it preheats,

drizzle some oil over the squash, and then toss in the spices.

Stir it around. You COULD peel and chop your own butternut squash, but I’m trying to keep negativity out of my life.

Put the squash on a baking sheet, and roast it for about 20 minutes.

In the meantime, saute the spinach so it’s about an eighth of its original size.

I also hate cooked spinach. I should’ve thrown in some mushrooms and made it a trifecta of things I hate! But hey, I’ll take butternut squash over the orange bacterium in the White House any day. Why is Twitter talking about doubling their tweet size? Do they not realize their character limit is the only thing keeping the world safe? He would’ve declared war on Nordstrom if he had the space. The good thing is, he can’t keep a linear thought in his head long enough to tweet twice about it. I like Nordstrom. Excellent jewelry.

By now, the squash should be done, and it’s looking mighty pretty.

Remove the spinach from the pot, and throw in the squash. Mash it up- I used an immersion blender because I have neither the upper body strength nor the patience to mash it myself.

Then pour in the broth,

and stir that in too.

Then add the honey, I used to HATE honey. I don’t know what happened. It may be that I am more adept at washing my hands than I was when I was 6, so now I don’t stick to everything after I use honey. That could be it. Also throw in some salt,

and heavy cream. The heavy cream will add a great touch of richness to this, and turn it a pretty light orange. I love pretty light orange things.

Now add in the spinach, 

and stir it. I love dark green things in pretty light orange things.

Serve it, or if you can’t bring yourself to eat it quite yet, it’ll stay good in the fridge for about a week!

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